This is my story for the left for dead contest. It's word count is 4777 and if that is to long you can cut off the ending or the begging. I just wanted to make a complete story from begging to end. Im not very good at grammar or writing in general so please bare with me.



Their was next to no traffic this day. It was just another windy autumn day with the wind whipping through Henry Enrico's hair. Their was an endless line of trees blurring by as he drove in to the outskirts of town. Enrico had left the city life of Chicago for the quite town of Springridge Colorado. He had work as a Chicago police officer for nearly three years, and he left his job to become Springridge's sheriff. The position was vacant for over three years, and they were more then happy to give him the job. They would even pay extra if he stayed. While the town didn’t normally need a sheriff, on occasion a need arose for sheriff to be present. This is what Enrico had hoped, that the town wouldn't need a sheirff, and that the work would be easy. Enrico hoped that the town would be far removed from the normal bustling city life.

As Enrcio drove in to town, he was surprised by the lack of cars on the road; Some thing he wasn't use too. It seemed to him that the roads were deserted. As he drove on, he looked in to the deep woods that surrounded the city. The city was boxed in by the surrounding woods, a recent green peace reconstruction effort had nearly surrounded the city by a sea of trees. In fact half of the city was built in to the forest. It was kind of gloomy with the sunlight blocked out by the endless rows of trees.

Finally he pulled in to town, where he got his first look around. The first thing he noticed was that their was no pedestrians. The city was oddly deserted with a eerie wind blowing through, rustling the leaves laying on the ground. On Enrcio's right, he noticed a side walk going past several small restaurants that were scattered amongst homes up and down the street. The side walk was leading to a large open square with a odd obelisk marking the center of town commemorating it's completion. Their was also oddly enough a stone commemorating green peace standing next to it out of place. Enrico looked at the odd rock and thought to him self, save the trees my ass. After stopping for a bite to eat, Enrico drove through town watching the endless home pass him by like his old life. In a lot of ways he was going to miss it, the action, the excitement, making a difference. Now he was going to be helping tourist and the locals with their insignificant problems. Just perfect Enrico thought, it was just wonderful. Before Enrico went home, he pulled in to the local bar. He got out of his car, adorned his out of place cowboy hat, and march up to the front door. As he walked in, he felt everyone's eyes descend upon him, and the bar became deathly quite like a grave yard. Then suddenly the bar returned to normal. Enrico sighed to him self and sat down in one of the bar stool. "Cold one on the rocks", Enrico ordered. Suddenly, the man next to him began coughing. He literally went into coughing fit, he coughed so much he nearly fell out of his seat, and eventually collapsed on to the counter. After seeing what had happened, the bartender walked over to Enrico.

"Is he alright?” Enrico asked. The Bartender took one good look at the man and said "Their recent flue going around causing everyone in town to become sick." Enrico smiled, and cursed inward. Great the day I arrive everybody is sick. "So don’t mind the locals, they don't want nothing funny happening right now, most of the city is bedridden." The bartender said finally. Enrico smiled, "Don't worry about that. I will make sure nothing happens." The bartender smiled as well. "Well I be.' He said "You’re the new sheriff aren't you?" Enrico smile faded slightly. "Yep, that is me." he said. After Enrico downed his drink, he went home and was happy to be away from that bar, and the sick people in it. Once he got home, he found the moving people waiting for him. He opened the door for them, as they hauled his furniture in, while he unloaded boxes from his car. After they had the furniture piled some what where they were suppose to be, he got ready for bed.

Out break: 0 hour day 1

Enrico was woken up at five in the morning, their had been a grisly murder downtown; some one was beaten to death. Enrico Sighed to himself again, just great he thought, first day on the job not only are the people sick, but some body gets murdered. With a yawn sigh, and indistinguishable mumble, he through his clothes on, and grabbed his jacket off of an un-opened box. He then went into the kitchen and spent two minutes digging through his police gear, that was stored away in boxes, for his smith and Wesson snub nosed .32 . He then grabbed his car keys off of the table and attempted to drive off. He didn't get far, the moving truck was stopped a short ways down in the entrance to the road leading down to his house. He honked ferociously, but their was no reply. "Aw what the hell," Enrico cursed, "Hey guys little help over here?" Enrico said getting out of his car. Enrico walked towards the car, and when he saw that no one moved, he said, "Where the hell are you guys? Would it kill you for little service right about now?" Enrico froze when he got to the driver's side. At first his eyes denied what he saw, they refuse to work, but two double takes later he knew they were right. The Driver side was stained with blood. No not just stained, it was soaked, the entire thing was covered with blood. No bodies, but a hell of a lot of blood, so much blood that no one could have survived the kind of wound that bleeds that much. "Aw hell.", Enrico spat. Enrico didn't even have a police car yet, and he had no back up, and their already had been a double murder. Enrico in a moment of anger screamed out loud. Enrico hopped in his Volkswagen and drove around the van and went straight to city hall.

Out break: 1 hour 1 day

Enrico barge in to city hall throwing the double doors aside with a bang, with grim determination on his face. Mayor was busy talking to his two secretaries; none looked pleased by what he was saying. Mayor turned around in surprise "ah, yes the police officer what ..." Enrico interrupted him. "Shut the hell up." Enrico said, "Their been a double murder, I think their is a serial killer loose in are fair city, tell the people to go in side and lock their doors and don't go out alone for any reason. Get me the next police station over, hell just call me the nearest major city police station and the high way patrol. Hell the National Guard. Also if you don't do it now, I will put you under rest for obstruction of justice and endangering lives of civilians, as extra incentive." The mayor was speechless, and just stood their staring. Suddenly, he snapped out of it and rushed to his secretaries, and told them to call a town meeting, and to call the Red Creek county police department.

Out break: 2 hours 1 day

With in hours he was at the scene of the grisly murder, a young man maybe twenty years old was lying on the street beaten to pulp with his face smashed up so bad it was hardly recognizable. He was beat so bad that most of is bones were broken, Enrico was no medical examiner, but he was sure this was done by hand. To beat a guy by hand so hard that it would break bones would take a hell of a lot of force and seriously rage issues. Enrico attention was refocused by the foot falls of people running in his direction coming from city hall. Suddenly the murder didn't seem all that important; twenty people were running down the street screaming. Enrico Barely had time to jump out the way to prevent being trampled. When it was all said and done, five people collapsed and were trampled; behind them he turned to see ten snarling men with an ugly look on their face. They were drooling, bent crooked, howled with rage, and gnashed their teeth. None of this behavior Enrico had seen in people. As they advanced on his position, in a moment of panic, Enrico fumbled for his snub nosed .32 He thought he would never need more fire power then his .32, but now he wish he had more. He didn't think it was necessary, even on the mean streets of Chicago, to carry more then the .32. He hated having to use force, but now he was seriously rethinking how he felt on using it. Right about now Enrico wished he had a tank or entire squad full of cops. No he had himself, six rounds of ammo, and ten pissed as hell fellows.


Enrico watched the men rushed towards the people who had been trampled. He watched as a slightly balding man wearing overalls took the lead in the group, stop and punch a old man who had been trampled, shattering his skull against the concrete with blood pouring out. A second man ran up and slammed his boot in to the poor man's face, and then two began to fight over who could kill the man. The bigger man in overalls slammed his meaty fist in to other guy's face so hard that it bent the other guy's neck and caused the man to collapse to the ground. Enrico thought the balding man had killed him. Instead the man got to his feet and looked like he did nothing more then tripped. He didn't even seem notice that he had been punch so hard that his nose was broken. The guy just didn't notice, even when blood was dripping out of it. Suddenly man went in to a craze in a attempt to rip his nose off. He tore at it till he revealed muscle underneath. By now the rest had noticed Enrico, and Enrico hadn't notice them. Enrico snapped out of it, "Just hold it right their. I said Freeze of all you, you are under arrest for murder and attempted murder." Enrico said razing his gun; they didn't listen.

The men rushed forward and Enrico open fired. The first round slammed in to the shoulder of lead man with overalls. He stopped for a second when he noticed he was wounded, but soon as he realized he wasn't hurt, he kept coming. The second, and third rounds, slammed in to a tall man wearing a sunday suite. He too didn't take notice, in fact it seemed to make him even angrier. The fourth round slammed smack in to a man wearing farmer’s clothes and craggy work boots. The round left a nice hole in his chest, and that was about it. Enrico didn't waste a beat; he took off and got in to his car. Just as Enrico started up the car, the ten men slammed in to it rocking it violently; then they kicked and clawed at it. One man hit the hood of Enrico's car so hard with his fist that it had left a dent. The man seemed to feel it, because he fell back with pain and screamed. One even tried to tackle the car, after that failed he backed off few feet while the rest assaulted Enrico's car. Enrico put the pedal to the metal and sped off running over four of them, and just like that, the four he ran over got back up and where chasing him.

Out break: 3 hour day 1

Enrico practically slammed into City hall, which was crumbling building at best. He rushed out of his car into city hall and slammed the door shut causing plaster to fall from ceiling. Aw hell he muttered under his breath. Aw hell was starting to become his favorite phrase, because it seemed to him that he was living in hell. Rest of the people living in the city were gathered in city hall; they all turned and looked at him. "Yeh, hi. I don't remember reading that this is hell in the brochures. I wouldn't recommend going out side." Suddenly on cue something slammed in to the doors behind him. "Man this city sucks. Great on my first day here every one is sick, their has been a double murder and zombies.” A chorus broke out amongst the people "What the hell is going on." they said. "Why the hell does it look like I know what going on, all I know is that their is ten crazed people out their trying to kill me." Enrico said with grim smug. Then the idiot in the room broke out "Why do they want to kill you?" Enrico wasn't all too happy with this person. "I don't know maybe I said some thing wrong, maybe they don't like my clothes. How the hell should I know? No what, why don't you go ask them?" Then with a sigh Enrico asked, "Does any one have a gun?" The idiot broke out again, "Your not going to shoot them are you?" Enrico bit his lip, "No im going to give them the guns so they can shoot us!" Enrico screamed. A tall man with dark hair who was wearing jeans and a country shirt stood up. "I have a shot gun in my trunk." he said. "How much ammo?" Enrico replied. "Three rounds." the man said in return. "Where are the guns?" Enrico said finally. "All over town and at the sheriff office." another man said. "ok." Enrico said with confidence. "Here is the plan. When I give the signal you will all rush out their, get to your cars, and then meet me back here with all the gun and ammo you can carry, ok?" With that said he grabbed the idiot and dragged him out of his seat and up the stairs to the surprise and shock of the on looking crowed. "What the hell are you doing?" the idiot cried. Enrico smiled, “You said you want a chance to talk to them, now here is your chance." Enrico said as he through him from the second story window. Instantly, the men - creatures ... things noticed him and went after him. "Go people go go go.” Enrico screamed "Get to your cars." In a second their was a mad rushing for the cars, and flood of people stormed out, before the creatures could react. So Enrico stayed on roof, realizing this was a one way trip to hell. To make matters worse they left the door open.

Infection spreads: 0 hour day 1

The creatures were in side and their numbers were growing. He guessed their was thirty of them. It was another hour, before the cars started rolling in. The first person to get out of their car was a old man carrying a .30 Winchester rifle "Y'all stay right were you are ya hear. Y'all don’t be moving." Just as Enrico thought they ignored him and rushed forward and so started the first of the gun fire. The first four Winchester rounds didn't achieve much. The fifth cause one of the creatures to loose so much mass in sheer blood loss that it collapsed. Not long after, people with a shot gun, a Glock, hunting rifle .44 caliber and enough fire power to scare off a advancing Russian army open up on the creatures. At first Enrico could see that things were going good from the upstairs widow. The people had surrounded the creature with their cars and open fired on them. The Creatures were resilient to a extreme absorbing lot of incoming rounds, but eventually their bodies gave out. They were stopped with overwhelming firepower. People continued to fire on advancing creatures, as creatures themselves slowly struggled for every step they took. Eventually most of the creature collapsed to ground dead. It looked like the town folks had won this fight. Then suddenly the wheels turned, more of creatures showed up. Enrico just could understand where these creatures kept coming from. They came running down the street, and from behind building. The came in waves running and rushing down the street towards the horrified on looking town folk. The town’s folk were surrounded. Some of the people shooting became distracted and disoriented. Several people began mysteriously collapsed to the ground. Eventually one guy turned around and fired his rifle in to one of his neighbor and the man he shot collapsed to ground dead. He then rushed another man who he knocked to ground. The people that had collapsed to ground began to convulse, then they got up, and attacked the people around them.

The people around him were literally turning into creatures. The original thirty creatures were dead, but now nearly forty of the civilian who came to help had went crazy and started attacking each other. Then a fire fight broke out amongst the remaining town folk that hadn't turned in to the creatures. They shot at each other and then in minutes it was over and they were all dead. Enrico looked out over the carnage and sighed to him self. Sixty-seven people were lying dead in the street and their was only thirty creatures. The people themselves turned into the creatures, so killing them was a waste of time. With his resolve he jumped out the window. Then he made a mad rush for his car and along the way he grabbed a shotgun, then a revolver, finally a rifle with several box of ammo for each weapon. Finally, he made rush in to his car and drove home.

Viral outbreak: 0 hour day 1

Enrico didn't under what had just transpired in the last twenty-four hours, every thing he knew had changed. He didn’t understand why the people attack him or what happen to them. His mind raced with a million questions, as he tried to grasp the situation. Their was only one thing certain though, they would be coming for him; they would be back. Enrico took refuge in his house moving the boxes he hadn't opened near the windows and doors, along with furniture to block the entrances into his house. After Enrico secured his house, he waited for the creatures to show up. The wait was not along one, as Enrico stared out the window he saw several men emerged from the woods around his house; Soon entire crowed emerged from forest. Their face was pale, their eyes were blood shot. Their mangled faces peered out in early morning light. When at last they showed their true numbers, Enrico was horrified. Their was way more then he had expected. Enrico was surrounded by over two hundred men and women emerging from the forest. They peered in at him, piercing his soul, and sending shivers down his spine. Suddenly it seemed like hell it self opened up at the thundering sound of crowed charging at his house. Then in the crowd of mangled faces, Enrico recognized someone; Leading the charge was the slightly balding man wearing overall. The man in overall had assumed some kind of leadership position and was orchestrated the attack on his house. Enrico raise his .44 rifle and took aim at the advancing wave and fired, the window shattered sending glass raining down around him. Enrico aimed at the man in overall hoping to finally kill him, but his first shot missed. Then overall man weave in and out of the crowd, then he seamlessly integrated with crowd, and Enrico lost sight of him. Enrico then refocused his aim on crowd around him, and open fired.

The round slammed in to one of the crazed men running towards his house and caused him tumbled to ground dead, slamming his head against a rock in his yard. Then another round was fired at another creature running towards his house; the round shatter her skull. Then another round caused a man to stumbled, but he kept going. Enrico kept firing till he was out of ammo. Then Enrico raised his revolver and steady it on a box. He then fired, hand holding firing stance, with the rounds splintering one of the creatures' head. Enrico look out out the ten crumpled bodies in his yard, ten down, but two hundred to go. Enrico was counting down the rounds killing the creatures as he fired on the approaching hoard. He counted the rounds he fired, and creature he dropped. He came to startling conclusion, he was using up lot of ammo and wasn't achieving much. The crowd charge at Enrico house all at once, he could hear the slams all up and down his house. He heard the windows shattering and the door creaking under the combined wait of dozen of crazed men and women slamming in to the door. Suddenly a pale face appeared in front of him, it was women. She lunge at Enrico, shattering what was left of the window. She missed Enrico knocking over one of the boxes sending its contents spilling out on the floor. She then reach out and attempted to climb in to the window, but was delayed by the rest of the boxes that were in her way. Enrico slung his rifle over his shoulder and then raised his shot gun. He fired one round causing her head to disintegrated in a haze of smoke.


He couldn't believe what had happened, his pathetic defenses crumbled. The creatures pushed the boxes out of the way, and then crawled in through the windows, with a good fifty slamming against his door. The good new was his door was still holding. Enrico tried to retreat to the kitchen, but before Enrico reach the kitchen, a women jumped through the kitchen window crashing on to the floor. She was fast, Enrico was faster. He fired a single round and she crumpled to the floor dead. Suddenly, the back door burst open and five men rush forward. Enrico swept through the room with his shotgun, dropping the first two creatures in the first shot, the second slammed in to some guy's chest. Their just creature now, Enrico did even look at their face. The third shot hit another farmer up in his chest and fourth decapitated some one. Three more people emerged in to the door way. Enrico shot gun was out of ammo, he through it to ground and raised his .40 Revolver. He fired off his back up weapon, the round slamming in to the girl's face. Two more round slammed into two more creatures killing one of them. The fourth round hit the last creature, who was once a guy, square in the neck and he crumpled to ground in agony. Enrico second retreat was in to the living room, where three men and two women were waiting. He raised gun and fired last couple of round as head shots. Blood washed his carpet, as the rounds splinter their bodies. Finally he holstered his revolver and un-slung his blood stained rifle. He charge the first man smashing his rifle but in to his skull. Then he cracked another one across it's face, it fell over for a moment. Then he back up to the far wall and kicked away a approaching woman buying him precious few moments to reload his Remington. The remaining creature rush forward just as he open fired. The rounds splintering in to another creature, causing it to toppled over and crashed to the ground. The creature tried to get back up, but second round slammed in to it. Yet again the creature got back up and a final third round put it down for good. In this entire battle he barely killed any of them, they just wouldn't die. What hell are these thing he thought firing another round in to girl face sending her smashing in to wall behind her, slowly sliding down in to a pool of her own blood.

As final desperate act to hold the living room he retreated to the far wall firing another two round in to the last standing creature. It was old guy wearing a red checkered shirt with a low crew cut. He watched as another creature climb over the box, and then he turned and fired. Behind him creature emerged from the kitchen, he turned and fired high, the round slamming in to the creature's shoulder spinning him around sending him crashing in to near by cabinet. As final last ditch effort, he ran in to the bathroom and slammed door shut, locking it. Then he waited, buying himself precious few second to reload. Suddenly, some thing slammed up against the door, then another and another. Enrico raised his reloaded shot gun and waited. Suddenly the bathroom door burst open, as ten creatures rushed forward only to be caught in the point plank shot gun fire causing their chest to explode inward. Then the third and fourth shotgun rounds slammed in to more of the creatures. The he dropped his shot gun and raised his rifle and continued firing till it click empty, then finally he raised his revolver and fired. Eventually it too clicked empty and he waited for the creatures to rushed forward. The creatures didn't attack though, instead they formed two rough line on either side of the door. Between the two lines the man in overall appeared and stepped into view. The creature watch Enrico, as Enrico stared him down waiting see what would happened. Then the man in overall rushed blindly forward releasing a second long howl of rage. Enrico caught him during the rush and swung the rifle but upwards colliding with the side of his skull. He fell back ward crashing on to the ground, but in second he got back up and charge again. Enrico side step it and slammed his rifle but hard as he could on to the guy's neck and he crash to bathroom floor. This didn't stop him though, he got back up again. The man charge forward enraged, Enrico swung his rifle again in attempt to hit him, but the man caught it grabbing the rifle and pushing Enrico up against a wall. Finally, Enrico kicked with all his might sending man crashing out of the bathroom. Before the man could rush forward again Enrico mange to get one round in his revolver and fired. The man crashed to floor dead surrounded by rest of of his cohorts. The sight of their leader dead sent them in to frenzy, as they blindly charge head long.

Then the creatures just stopped, and backed out of bathroom. They turned from the out side of the bathroom and stared out side. Then every thing was quiet and Enrico was able to hear gun shots and the sound of engines. Some of the creature turned their attention back to Enrico, and in this moment Enrico picked up and reloaded his shotgun, and then fired; The remain creatures crumpled to ground dead. Enrico emerged from bath room to see his house destroyed. He went to one of the shattered windows and looked out side, and what he saw brought him more hope then the entire world.

He watched as police cruisers plowed straight through the hoard in front of his house slamming in to the creatures. The police cruisers skidded down street knocking the creatures out of the way right before fish tailing one last creature. Soon dozen more police cruisers plowed through the group toppling them over. The car stopped in semi circle around his house and the police came out of their cars guns drawn. The police then took aim and fired at the creatures. Enrico watch as dozen upon dozen of creatures collapsed on to ground under the intense volley of fire from the police officers. Then the creature in Enrico house rushed to rejoin rest of the group, only to be cut down mid way by police officers. The police officers fired sporadic rounds as creatures scattered, on occasion hitting one mid run. Finally the wave of creatures was cut down. One police officer raised a bull horn, "Any one alive in their?" Enrico never felt happier then in this moment. "YES!" Enrico screamed running out the door. "Im fine what going on around here?" The police officer turned and looked at him, "Their has been a Viral outbreak ..."

After you read it, please post feed back. I will try to improve it if i can.

Sorry, I've been busy with school lately and haven't been able to read all the entries but I'll be catching up on the weekend. Expect C&C from me then

__________________

Veiled Duality

it ok. Im just very self conscious about my work.

ok seriously, their is 66 view and not one review. What the hell did i do wrong? Story to long? Bad spelling? not enough paragraphs?

dude nice story it freaked me out when my mom came in

Dude, what the hell. Nobody has said any thing about my story. Thanks for you for reading it, i was hoping some body would. Least tell me about it after they read it. I must thank you for saying some thing ... negative or positive ... it doesn't matter! Just say some thing thank you.

Any how rant over. Thank you for reading it and im sorry for length, if i find some time i was going to shorten it.

Hey, I thought the story was good, but the writing could use some improvement in places. Read below to find out how/where.

I mean absolutely no offense by this statement but, is English your first language? I ask this because there are a lot of spelling and gammatical mistakes that could be improved upon. And your character's name is Enrico...

Look up these definitions:
their definition | Dictionary.com
there definition | Dictionary.com
they're definition | Dictionary.com
quite definition | Dictionary.com
quiet definition | Dictionary.com
flu definition | Dictionary.com

This site might help a bit with your tense:
Verb Tense Consistency
Make sure when you are writing fiction to keep your tense consistent!

And here is a list that helped me with common writing errors:
Fiction Factor - Common Writing Mistakes

You asked for the critique and complained that no one gave it, so I'm only offering this as help.

The story has great potential, but make sure you proof read it and also get someone else to proof read it for you.

I only really read the first part because I don't have that much time, though that's not to say that you should cut it down. Just improve on it. I'll read more later when I've got more time.